THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize