I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
