I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
