I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
