So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
