You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
