the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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