Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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