Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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