and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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