I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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