She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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