I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
