My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize