I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
