dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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