all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Found the puke drawer
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize