im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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