im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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