Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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