so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
