Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
