We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
