# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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