But theres a keg here and me gusta
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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