Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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