so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
