Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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