i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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