Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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