dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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