seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Randomize
