He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
