I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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