but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
