His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
