yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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