I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize