Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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