omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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