so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
