The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
