Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
it was like eating out sand paper
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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