I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize