my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
