...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
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And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
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I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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