Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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