I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Come on in and take your pants off
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