I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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