Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
