scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
