the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
