I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
