Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
