I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Randomize
