im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
